In the park

 It was as sunny as a winter day can be, with a chilling breeze that confirmed that summer was still quite far away, but she felt the strong necessity of going out to the park, ignore the wind and catch some of the sunlight directly on her face. And so she went down.

The park was calm, with only three or four other walkers, but unlike her, all of them were accompanied by dogs – she was the strange one, she did not have an excuse that justified her walk in the park.

Despite the brief feeling of missplacement and the insistent wind, she was enjoying herself until suddenly, lots of unwanted – not so much for unpleasant as for burdensome – thoughts started to invade her mind, and the brief peace she’d felt scarce minutes before that, had now gone. In turn, a grey and heavy sadness overcame her and the sun went to hide between some menacing clouds, giving free way to the coldness of the wind in her bones.

As soon as she realised what had happened, she closed her eyes and tried to get rid of all those feelings and thoughts with all her will power. She tried to convince herself that the sun was still there, that the clouds were only passing by. The sunlight was welcome, please let it come!

When she opened her eyes, she felt somehow relieved. It was still windy and chilly but she knew she had won a little fight agaisnt sadness by choosing to stay positive. She decided to keep it like that, take the little victories as big accomplishments and tried to relax her face into a content smile.  All of the sudden, an old lady that just walked by her following her little chubby dog on a short lead, whispered in her ear: “This is good for you”, and continued her way leaving the girl completely puzzled.  When she was finally able to react and turned around to look at the woman, the old lady was nowhere to be seen.

What in earth had that been? What had the lady meant? what had been good for her? Was it the universe talking to her? And then another thought – fate! But, alas! thinking about fate was thinking about him, because he was a big believer of destiny. And with that last thought, all possibility of peace or feelings of easiness vanished completey. The girl then sat down for a bit trying to be calm, to steady herself, but now there was not a way to take him out of her mind. Damned be him and the old lady, and the whole world and, above all, damned be herself! After that moment of complete misery tknowing that contacting him was the last thing she should do, she produced her mobile phone and sent a short: “Hello you”.

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